Tell me...

[ridock]

Some of the craziest things that have happened to you in real life.

I meen, I wanna hear some things way out of the ordinary but please NO LIEING.There is no way for us to know if a good story is true and it would ruin the fun.

Also please make it interesting, I'm talking about things that are barely ever going to happen.

Some funny things that have happened to me:

1/At a party I stepped on a rake in the front yard with a huge crowd watching(because I was drunk and I wanted to be like the cartoons)and it was one of those thick metal rakes.Anyhow it came up and hit me twice in the face before my foot even hit the ground and even though I was laughing as hard as everyone else(people were rolling around laughing) I slowly decended into darkness twirling to the ground and I was K.O.ed.

2/Another rare thing that happend, I got the chance to save my best freinds life from drowning.He now is my bitch 4 life.

3/Only last one I can remember is when I was little and a group of kids were mouthing me off from behind during the winter.So I picked up a snowball and packs it, then 5minutes later with one kid calling me a panzy I turned and sidearmed the snowball(actually more like an iceball after decent packing) and through a pack of about 12 kids the first 2 kids in the front ducked and WHILE the kid was still talkin smack I nailed him right in the eye from just about under a block away and he started crying. =[

Anyhow those were some funny ones I can remember that probably dont hapen too often, but I know there are some good REAL stories out there waiting to be heard so lets hear them!

[edit] OMG LMAO I just remember another funny one..

4/I was house sitting my old freinds apartment and all the sudden I heard yelling right.So I go to the door and look through the peep-hole but I dont see nuthing.Then few mins later I hear more yelling and a door slamming so I return to the door and look out again nothing.THEN just as im about to take my eye off the door it bursts open and I go flying into a closet while seeing some women run into the house.I was like WTF!? I get up , close the door and go look at the girl that was in my buddies washroom now adn it was a HOOKER.

Then I was like get the fuck outta here right.But she was like punched out and was cryin so I said ok clean urself up and get out please.After a few mins she gathered her composure and told me her pimp had beaten her up, thats when I realized she had taken his wallet full of hundreds!So the pimp was probly lookin for her!

Basically my freinds showed up afterwards while she was still in the washroom and I was like , "hey guys, theres a hooker in your washroom."ROTFL.We later escorted her out and the pimp came with a big knife and we told her to run and she did :P

[MagpieFL]

i found a twenty pound note once, when i was walking a dog.
but i was too young to get drunk wiv it.

does that count?


DECUS ET TUTAMEN

[Murph]

A: I was in fourth grade. My bestest best buddy in teh whole world was getting beat up by this freshman in high school. I actually ran up to him, and punched him full in the face.


I got beat up too. =/

B: Me and a few buddies went skiing the other day. Im a pretty decent skier. By that, I mean I dont fall down. Well... one of my pals arent so hot at skiing. They actually hit a tree. Thought that only happened in cartoons =/

[Dimension]

1) I had my 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th time in one night. It was intense, i tell ya ;) PS: i felt my stomach muscles for days

2) When i was about to depart from Venezuela, some guys actually searched me for drugs at the airport! now that might not sound real exciting, but considering i looked like a fat pansy back then i thought it to be really weird.

3) I spent 10-30 minutes in a fridge once(too dark to read my watch), just to see how that is. its cold ;)

4) When i was in the US i got picked up from school once in a white Ferrari 420 Superfast or California. Another time it was a Lotus Europa in british racing green. then a blue Bugatti Type 51. then a white Mercedes-Benz SSK. the reason for that is that the guy i lived with had a garage at that point of time in which he restaurated classic cars. sometimes it was kindofa thrill, because the Bugatti and the Mercedes weren't street-legal . coolest thing ever was when we drove to a mall with the Ferrari. boy, the sucka got attention! there were other cars in the garage, but they were not in working condition, sadly. particularily the Jaguar E-Type and an LM-winning Bentley with 16 cylinders were noteworthy.

5) I used to own Piranhas(the redbellied ones, Serrasalmus nattereri). first 8, then i bought another 7, one of which was cannibalised for some reason. guess he was the weakest link. I fed them with cattle hearts. the largest one was around 25 cm long, the smallest like 16-18.

[Sutts]

I got Jumped out of a aircraft with a parachute not weird but not many ppl do it ow and I flown loads of times and done some basic airobatics

[ridock]

LOL dim, you were stuck in a fridge?LOLOL good one I had a good laugh there, also my dad used to have piranhas too(except the really really big ones, well they were big when i was little) and my dad used to hang me over the giant fish tank with them circleing under me and dip me into the water with his buddies laughing. :\ I r traumatized...

[BloodLord]

1) when i was about 14yrs or whatever(i don't remember) it was still a few days before christmas so we had like lots of fireworks. me and a cousin of mine were at war with the neighboring kids, throwing fireworks(the rocket kind) at eachother. then griff comes out of the house yelling "hey wtf u dummies doing? don't u know u could pop someone's eyes with those?" then BAM! he gets an eyeful of firework from the neighboring kids! bwahahahahahaha(well we weren't really laughing at that time LOL) so he goes mad like a rabid dog screaming "AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! BRING ME THAT SONOFABITCH I'M GONNA KILL HIM!!!!"

[GriffinSLS]

You should have seen them all scatter like rats.

[Metho]

thats funnee

[Phaeton]

HEH ok here ya go.

i got into an arguement with my girlfriend on night. so i left her place and when out and got drunk as all get out. i was bar hopping in my '92 Ford Bronco. i decided that i was going to go to a bar that one of my ex-girlfriend's worked at and see if i could get some, but on the way there, i was too drunk to remember how to get to the bar. so i decided to stop at the local holiday inn (i have no idea what i was thinking) and ask directions.

i walk in there and a cop is standing up at the counter. he and the guy behind the counter were talking and they both turned and looked at me as i walked in. now being stewed as a knewt i got a little concerned the cop was going to nail me. but i was more concerned that if i turned around and left, they cop would follow me and call my plates in. so i continued to walk up to the desk and ask directions. the cop looked at me and asked if i had been drinking, to which i replied "why certainly officer...i had to, to get the courage up to ask my girlfriend to marry me." dunno why i said that, it was just the first thing that popped into my head. He said "you're going to ask your girlfriend to marry you in that condition?" i said "well i think she'd understand, she knows i dont think of myself as the "marrying" type." He then asked "do you have a ring?". Again, my quick thinking got the best of me and i said "SHIT no i do not...." to the gentleman behind the desk i said "do you have a paperclip i could use to bend into a ring for her, it will have to do until i get her a ring". he did and he gave it to me. the cop says "well i'm not going to call you in, but i dont want you to drive anywhere, how about you call a cab?". I thanked him and acknowledged what a great idea that was. he asked me if he could have my keys so that he could go park my truck for me. i eagerly gave them to him. he parked it and returned my keys to me. he then went on about his businees to check the floors of the hotel. the manager called me a cab and i waited......and i waited.....and i waited.....

Well, i got sick of waiting so i beat feet out of there and jumped into my truck and hualed ass out of the parking lot. now mind you, i never did get directions to where it was i was trying to get to. so i am driving around, quite drunk and quite lost trying to find this bar in hopes that my ex-girlfriend would see me and instanly feel that she needs to hop in the sack with her drunken ex.

Since i was lost and had no idea of whee i was, i just started looking for things familiar to me. i found none. i turned on another street and kept driving. at some point, my cigarette fell out of my mouth and into my lap. i was in shorts, and i got a burning sensation on my genetalia. i looked down to put out the fire on my nads when the road decided to my a 90 degree turn. needless to say, the road turned, i did not. i looked up to find myself flying through a heavily wooded area with small trees and brush flying over my hood. i was blind as a bat....couldnt see shit. that was until i hit a tree that wasnt so small. it stopped me cold. i tried to back down off it, i figured WTF, this is a 4x4. i failed. i was stuck on the tree with no way to get off. or so i thought.

I started walking to call a friend to help me out when i walked past a construction site. low and behold there sat a brand new catapiler excavator. for those of you who dont know, i am a heavy equippment operator and that is the exact machine i run. i just so happend to have my work keys with me. in my drunken stupor, i jump in the machine, walk it right down the middle of the (thank god deserted) road. (now mind you, this is a $300,000 piece of machinery i just had stolen) and pull my truck off the tree. not wanting to be a criminal, i walk the excavator back to down the road to the construction site, and park it. i go back to my truck, decide that getting some, just wasnt worth the effort that evening. i drove my, now mangled, Bronco back home safely and got to bed.

while i am not at all proud of that story, it is perhaps one of the funniest yet dumb things ive ever done. thank god no one was hurt.

PS please forgive any typos.

[soul]

0_0

Thats all i can really think of us as a response for that story phae... that and 'holy shit'.



soul.

[Murph]

ditto... "holy shit" nails it.

Makes my life seem uneventful by comparison =[ or maybe I just forget stuff

[GAZBERG]

:O

LMAO NICE ONE PHAETON!

THATS THE BEST ONE YET!! (NO OFFENCE TO OTHER PPL K)

AND THEY SAY ITS THE KIDS RUNNING WILD...

[BloodLord]

2) last day of highschool! WOOHOO! I borrow my sis's brand spanking new Camry and I join the convoy around the island with a bunch of my friends. the weather was perfect, the convoy was perfect, everything was perfect. so we decided to end it with a few dives off the dock. after that I slipped on my jeans over my swimming trunks(which was wet) and went to drop off my friends. on my way home i had the sound blasting and was making the car fly to the tunes right down a pretty steep hill. I was looking into the rear view mirror and thinking to myself "damn what a beautiful day" then I see a car that had made a full stop, waiting to make a right(at that time we only had only 2 lanes, 1 for each way). andthen..."OMG NO!"eeeeeeeerrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!! BOOM! i slam into the ugly ass cedan with my sis's brand new car I got down looked at the bumpers and all were minor. I had a little conversation with the the driver and we decided to drive over to the near by autoshop to call the police.

We had our cars parked over the side curb and he went out first. so I started up the car and was going to make a little right turn and BOOM! "FUCK! GODDAMIT! AAARRGGGHH!!!!" the left side of my sis's bumper gets fucked, I had hit 2 cars in less than 5 mins, I was standing under the freakin' blazing sun talking with a faggit ass cop and my wet short was soaking my jeans. so tell me, have u had a fucked up day like that? if not then I hope u do u freakin' fag!

[edit]
2 accidents and the fucking airbags didn't even pop out! dammit that sucked at least i could have seen the airbags but noOooo my day just had to suck!

[Phaeton]

heh bloodclot, remind me to NEVER let you drive my jeep!

and btw, you dont want to feel an airbag come out. you'd be better off taken a punch in the face from mike tyson. they hurt like hell and if they come out, it's almost cheaper to total the car. they are VERY VERY VERY expensive to replace. be glad you didnt see them.

K here's another.

I was at a party with a bunch of my friends. One of my buddies shows up with a guy he works with. he had just bought a brand new Toyota 4x4. After 4 or 5 hours of drinking, he decides he wants to see how well this thing goes through the mud, so about 15 guys all jump into various trucks and decide to go 4 wheeling.

I got into this guy's new toyota with him and my friend. it was a king cab so i jumped into the back seat (which was very fucking small btw) and continue to maintain a very good buzz. we all decide that we'd go to this one spot that always has good mud and also a nice steep hill to test your tracks. we arrive a few minutes later and he starts getting sideways in his truck. mud's flying everywhere and we're having a pretty good time. well the guys in the other trucks wanted to show off a bit and comence to getting up the hill. the full size trucks got up with a good bit of effort, but they had good clearance underneath. so this guy in his new truck, not to be outdone, takes up the challenge and gives it a go. up we go, he has the engine roaring and the tires spinning, but only makes a third of the way. so we back down and he tries again. we got to the same spot more or less and again we have to back do the hill. now remember where i said this was a steep fucker and how the full size trucks made it up there but with some serious effort? when they all went up, they dug some pretty big ruts. and i mean they were 2-3 feet deep. this guy wants to try it one more time. i'm sitting in the back throughly enjoying this ride and i look out the back window at the light bar he has. i asked him "hey what -your- face, is this a roll bar or just a light bar?" what- his- face replied he didnt know for certain. so being drunk as i was i just figured who gives a fuck we're gonna make it.

he backs that truck up to get a good running start and off we go. by the time he hit the base of the hill we were doing 50 miles per hour. we were hauling ass up this hill, but 10 feet from the top his tires start to spin and we lose traction. he hits the brakes knowing we aren't going to make it up. we're inside busting his balls about what a piece of shit he bought, and the guys outside are raggin' his ass something fierce. so he decides to back down again and give it another go, however, he didnt steer the wheel properly and got hung up in a rut. the back tires caught on the way down and spun the truck side ways, then gravity took over and we started tumbling down that fucking hill. everything that wasnt secured down in the cab was flying all over and beating the shit out of us as we rolled once....twice.....three fucking times over and over. finally we got to be bottom and somehow landed upright, on all 4 tires.

the guys at the top said all they heard after the truck spun was OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!! from all three of us inside. we all got out of the truck, i grabbed for a cigarette and of course they were no place to be found. at some point in our truck gymnastics they flew out the fucking window. one of my other friends found them as he was running after the truck as it rolled down the hill. when we got out and looked at it, it was fucking hysterical. here was a BRAND new, still had the temporary tags on it, toyota king cab 4x4 completely fucking round. it looked like a log with four tires. we looked up the hill and all you could see were beer cans and bottles littered all over the same route we had taken down.

the poor bastard shit himself. he didnt know what he was going to tell his parents, and i for one had absolutely nothing of an intelligent explanation for him. i just said, "fuck it, tell them the truth, they wont believe anything else.". that truck still drove just fine, so we took that completly aerodynamic truck, back to the party to show everyone what had happened. they all laughed their ass off. i couldnt blame them. there stood three drunk dumb asses all beaten to shit by various flying objects inside the cab, and a rounded fucking pickup truck that hadn't been bought more than 48 hrs ago. LOLOLOLOL

now you guys see why i quit drinking.

believe both of those stories or not, they are both 100% true. i couldnt make up shit like that if i wanted to.

edited for spelling