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  • Got Joke?

    Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally one day, Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten." While Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious cod appears and says, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

    Time went on (as it invariably does.) and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

    While out swimming alone one day he sees the mysterious cod again and can't believe his luck. Justin figured that the fish could change him back into a prawn. He begs the cod to change him back so, lo and behold, he is turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply.

    Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate the memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted,

    "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again! "

    Christian replied "No way man, you'll eat me! You're a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked!"

    Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed!"

    "I've found Cod! I'm a prawn again Christian!"

  • #2
    I... dont get it?



    Anyways, heres one my father told me just today:

    A boss needed a new secretary. 3 women apply for the job. As part of the job screening process, the boss asks each secretary one question.

    He asks the first woman: "What would you do if you found a hundred dollar bill lying on the floor of the office?" The woman answers: "Well I would keep it."

    He asks the second woman the same question. She responds: "I would donate it to charity."

    He asks the third woman the same question. She answers with: "I would go around the office asking if anyone lost a hundred dollar bill. If someone did, I would give it back."

    So, which woman did the boss hire?










    The one with the biggest tits.

    Comment


    • #3
      Maybe you don't get it because it has a phonetics-based punch line.

      Comment


      • #4
        A string walks into a bar and says "Bartender, Gimme a shot of tequilla."

        Bartender says "get out of my bar we don't serve your kind here."

        Next day string walks in to the same bar and says "Bartender, Gimme a shot of tequilla

        Bartender says "hey string I told you yesterday we don't serve your kind here."

        So the string walks outside in to an ally and twists himself up and ruffles one of his ends.

        He walks back into the bar, sits at a table and says "Hey Bartender, bring me a shot of tequilla"

        Bartender walks over and places the drink on the table. He takes a good look at the string and says "Hey aren't you that string that keeps coming in here?"

        String looks up and say "Nope, I'm a fryed knot"

        Comment


        • #5
          Maybe you don't get it because it has a phonetics-based punch line.
          I looked it over again and I got it... eh.


          And uhm... zion... I dont get it. =/

          Comment


          • #6
            Maybe you don't get it because it has a phonetics-based punch line.

            Comment


            • #7
              MurphWasTakenWTF: fryed knot? wtf?
              whtknite26: afraid not
              whtknite26: nope i'm afraid not
              whtknite26: ...
              MurphWasTakenWTF: fried != 'fraid
              MurphWasTakenWTF: geez
              MurphWasTakenWTF: how lame
              MurphWasTakenWTF: thats worse than rekis joke
              whtknite26: haha

              Comment


              • #8
                it would have been better if you spelled "fryed" correctly too... just a tip.

                Comment


                • #9
                  a swiss, an american and a belgian are flying on a transatlantic flight.

                  suddenly, one of the engines malfunctions, sending the airplane on a downward spiral that the pilot can't recover. Reluctantly he informs the passengers of the disaster.

                  "this is the captain speaking, due to an engine malfunction we have lost control over the airplane. an emergency landing is not very likely to succeed. however we do have a limited amount of parachutes on board, which unfortunately does not suffice to equip all of our passengers..."

                  at this, the swiss guy screams "SAVE DER CHILDREN!"

                  the american lunges at one of the parachutes and shouts "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"

                  the belgian looks out the window and frowns in thought. turning to the american, he sais "you sure that we have enough time for that?"
                  Last edited by Dimension; 08-23-2003, 08:52.

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                  • #10
                    Redstar.
                    DECUS ET TUTAMEN

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      eh?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I got that one.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Indian Birth Names


                          This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. "Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named "Mighty Storm"? "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm." "Why is my sister named "Cornflower"? "Well, your father and I were in a cornfield, when we made her." "And why is my other sister called "Moonchild"? "We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived." "Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?"

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            man, that one is older than mags

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              A priest and a nun are on their way back home from a trip when their car
                              breaks down. They are unable to get it fixed, so they decide to spend the
                              night in a hotel. The only hotel in the town has only one room available.
                              Priest: Sister, I don't think the Lord would have a problem, under the
                              circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I'll sleep
                              on the lounge and you have the bed.
                              Nun: I think that would be okay.

                              They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room. Ten
                              minutes later...
                              Nun: Father, I'm terribly cold.
                              Priest: Okay, I'll get you a blanket. (He does)

                              Ten minutes later...
                              Nun: Father, I'm still terribly cold.
                              Priest: Okay Sister, I'll get you another blanket. (He does)

                              Ten minutes later...
                              Nun: Father, I'm still terribly cold. I don't think the Lord would mind if
                              we acted as man and wife just for this one night.
                              Priest: You're probably right...get your own fucking blanket.

                              Comment

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